Us Brits are known for our stiff upper lip, and many still live by the wartime mantra of ‘keep calm and carry on’.
But while the intentions behind this may be noble – after all, nobody likes a moaner – a brave face can only last so long before the mask begins to slip.
In the workplace, this is becoming known as ‘pleasanteeism’, and it’s something you’ve likely seen in colleagues or been guilty of yourself.
Riffing on the phenomenon of presenteeism (where staff are compelled to ‘show up’ above everything, even if they’re ill or otherwise unable to actually work) this term refers to when people conceal their stress or need for support, powering through with a plastered-on smile.
Medical cover provider Lime Global coined the term in 2021 during the height of the Covid pandemic, finding 51% of UK staff felt the need to put on a brave face in front of colleagues.
By the following year, this figure had jumped to 75%, which CEO and founder Shaun Williams put down to ‘ongoing cost of living concerns, geopolitical uncertainty and burnout’. And given these are all things we’re still dealing with in 2024, it seems pleasanteeism is going nowhere fast.
Are you experiencing pleasanteeism?
Do you feel like crying at work is shameful?
Do you always answer ‘how are you?’ with ‘great!’, even when you’re feeling awful?
Have you ever avoided raising an issue because you don’t want to seem ‘difficult’?
Do you agree to take on extra work when you’re already overwhelmed?
Does it feel impossible to say ‘no’ or to ask for help?
Do you feel pressured to pretend you’re not struggling mentally?
Do you feel like you have to hide your true self or put on an act?
According to Robbie Bryant, career and education expert at Open Study College, it often starts with an employee trying to show a positive attitude in an effort to get ahead. This then snowballs, as they ‘take on more tasks within the job role, which can lead to mistakes being made and more stress.’
Picture the employee as a can of Coke (other carbonated beverages are available): because its contents are tightly sealed inside, pressure builds each time it gets knocked about, making it all the more likely to explode.
Alongside the person’s desire to come across well, workplace culture is a major factor in creating this ticking time bomb, as David Overmars, careers expert at CVWizard tells Metro.
‘In many companies, you just don’t see managers or colleagues talking openly about their own stress,’ he says. ‘When that’s the norm, it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one having a hard time, so you keep it to yourself. In these environments, everyone pretends they’re fine — even if they’re not.’
In the long-run, this doesn’t just impact the staff either; Flexa CEO and co-founder Molly Johnson-Jones calls it ‘a lose-lose situation for both employees and employers.’
‘At worst, pleasenteeism can lead overworked employees to burn out, and force stressed staff to take sick leave,’ she tells Metro. ‘At best, workers who eventually become tired of putting on a brave face can become disengaged and/or quit.’
Tina Chander, head of employment at Wright Hassall also notes: ‘What’s more, if an employee does decide to submit a formal grievance and progress a tribunal claim as a result of feeling forced to resign, the employer could face costly damages both financially and reputationally.’
If you’re seeing a lot of your own experiences here, all is not necessarily lost.
Ed Johnson, careers expert and co-founder of PushFar, recommends releasing some of that pressure, initially by chatting to someone who isn’t your manager – perhaps a manager from a different department, or an external mentor.
He explains: ‘It can help for employees to talk to colleagues who are one-step removed.’
In many cases, this will be enough to build your confidence so you find it easier to speak up in future. However, if the situation has become unsalvageable as a result of a toxic workplace culture, more serious action could be required.
Tina advises documenting incidents where staff are discouraged from speaking up or are bullied into silence, and checking your employer’s anti-bullying policy for information on seeking support.
‘If there’s no policy in place you should talk with HR or your manager,’ she says.
‘But the important thing to note is that if you feel that you’re not taken seriously or the issue isn’t resolved, you can file a formal grievance, and if necessary, it can be escalated.’
As for managers, David highlights the importance of setting an example, from talking about their own mental health with colleagues to fostering an atmosphere of collaboration.
Ed echoes this, adding: ‘Managers should ensure they encourage mentorship and listening, give employees opportunities to talk without fear of judgement and they should be open about the mistakes they make as well – nobody is perfect.’
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
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