I'm Not Stiller

I’m not Stiller! – Day after day, ever since I was put into this prison, which I shall describe in a minute, I have been saying it, swearing it, asking for whisky, and refusing to make any other statement. For experience has taught me that without whisky I’m not myself, I’m open to all sorts of good influences and liable to play the part they want me to play, although it’s not me at all…

…I told them several days ago it needn’t be the very best brand, but it must be drinkable, otherwise I shall remain sober; then they can question me as much as they like, they won’t get anything out of me – or at any rate, nothing that’s true. In vain.

Today, they brought me this notebook full of empty pages. I’m supposed to write down my life story – no doubt to prove I have one, a different one from the life of their missing Herr Stiller.

‘Just write the truth,’ said the defence counsel provided for me by the State, ‘nothing but the plain, unvarnished truth. They’ll fill your pen for you whenever you want.’

Translated from German by Michael Bullock