Aspiring immortal Bryan Johnson is attempting to defy death through a gruelling exercise, health and biohacking regime. His pursuits in the longevity space have included measuring his nighttime erections in an attempt to lower his “penis age”, injecting himself with his son’s plasma, and taking around 100 supplements a day. His mantra? “Don’t Die”. Johnson claims he is only ageing 8 months every year thanks to his strict regime.
At tech festival South by Southwest in Austin, Johnson took to the stage to lay out his guide to not dying, which he calls “The Blueprint”. His advice and daily health practices ranges from common sense to wacky.
“My final meal of the day is at noon”
At a time when the rest of us might be having brunch on the weekend, Johnson has finished up eating for the day. He does this in order to have a perfect night’s sleep, apparently. Eating 8 hours before bed allows his heart rate to drop down to 44bpm, optimising his sleep quality. For us mere mortals, Johnson advises eating your final meal two hours before bed and then dropping down in increments of 30 minutes. “You may experience slight hunger, but that’s ok, your body will get accustomed to it,” he says.
“My nighttime erections are better than the average 18-year-old”
Bryan Johnson and his son, Talmage, whose nighttime erections he also measured
Magdalena Wosinska/Courtesy of Bryan Johnson
“You’re 70% more likely to die prematurely if you’re not having nighttime boners,” according to Johnson. He has hit headlines for measuring his erections with a device he wears on his penis which looks like an Airpods case with a turquoise strap. On a good night, he’ll have an erection for around three hours in total, similar to a college freshman. He says it’s something women need to think about, too: “the clitoris engorges at night, and in the morning there’s a morning bean,” the equivalent of morning glory. Johnson may be seen as a fun sponge, but he is pro-sex: “Sex has great longevity benefits, so do it,” he says.
“Partying is really bad”
If Johnson could have his way, parties would begin at 6pm (latest) and finish up at 8. There would be no alcohol, naturally. Johnson does not believe in letting off steam. “You may perceive it to be fun but it’s really wrecking you,” he says of partying. Johnson encourages us to “remap what you think is fun”: instead of going to a great party and getting drunk with friends, consider an hour-long stint in a hyperbaric chamber, or something.
“Organic is worthless”
We may feel better about ourselves when splashing out that little bit extra on organic fruit and veg, but Johnson says “you can’t buy any brand and be safe”. He and his team tested organic black lentils which came back very high in heavy metals, which can cause organ damage. When they called the supplier to ask what was going on, they were told that the company uses human sludge, which can be high in heavy metals, to fertilise the lentils.
However, the US Department of Agriculture and the EU have both outlawed organic farmers from using human sewage as fertiliser, so the company Johnson mentioned were either breaking the rules or not organic in the first place.
“Turn off all the lights in your house an hour before bed”
Johnson goes to bed at the same time every night (8.30pm), which he says is essential for achieving deep sleep. An hour before bed, he turns off all the lights in his house and switches on red and amber lights. “It’s a really cool vibe,” he insists. Blue light from phone screens can disrupt our circadian rhythms, so he puts all screens away at 7.30pm, too.
“Cheat days are never worth it”
Many of us are able to get through healthy eating and not drinking in the week for the promise of reward at the weekend, be it a glass of wine or a sweet treat. But according to Johnson, we should not have that mindset. Cheat days become cheat weeks and chocolate chip cookies make us age faster. “So many of my friends have told me when they reach for the bag of chips that they hear my voice in their head and they don’t do it,” he proudly told the crowd at SXSW. Johnson aims to eat 2,000 calories a day (all before noon, remember) and says that on any given day, “every calorie fought for its life”.
Many would see Johnson’s militant regime, or what he calls being a “professional rejuvenation athlete”, and feel depressed. But according to the man himself, “I’ve never felt happier in my entire life”.