I went to give my ex head – then I vomited 

Looking up from the sofa at my boyfriend, I stifled a laugh as he suggestively wiggled his hips at me.

‘So, what do you reckon?’ Alex* said, a mischievous smile plastered across his face and a familiar movement in his jeans.

Although he hadn’t said the words, I knew exactly what he was asking me for: A blowjob. 

While I very much enjoy giving my boyfriend oral sex there’s something holding me back on this occasion.

He’d just come back from working on a building site all day and, though the image of him getting sweaty and dirty is a big turn-on, I also know that he’s been wearing the same clothes all day.

‘I’d love to… after you’ve had a shower,’ I reply with a smile.

I was never worried about upsetting Alex by asking him to wash off – partly because he’s very big on hygiene and usually has two showers a day – but mostly because we have a very communicative relationship where we can talk about anything.

But I haven’t always been so fortunate.

A few years back, a different man I was casually dating invited me back to his place. Drew* was a nice guy and great company, but we hadn’t really nailed down the sex yet.

One particular evening, he was very hungover – so much so that the smell of booze was still oozing from his pores. So although he’d made an effort for our date by showering and putting on a very nice aftershave, unfortunately, it wasn’t enough.

As the clothes came off and I bent down to give him head, I was struck by a foul smell.

I didn’t know how to raise the issue without making him feel bad, so I just kept going, while holding my breath. This was a big mistake. 

Because I’d held my breath, my body forced me to take a big gulp of air all at once. And I promptly threw up in my mouth.

Horrified but still not quite sure what the hell to do, I peered up at Drew. 

Mercifully his eyes were closed so without really thinking about it, I swallowed the vomit (which was thankfully mostly liquid as I hadn’t eaten much that day) before stopping and excusing myself to get a glass of water.

I will never know if Drew realised what happened but I don’t think he did – there was no discernible reaction from his side whatsoever. But it still bothers me that I kept calm and carried on instead of just communicating.

That’s why I’m so happy to be in a relationship now where we talk things through in a healthy and honest way. 

After my polite suggestion, Alex slunk out of our living room and anyone who doesn’t know him might have thought he was upset, but I knew him better.

Seconds later, he peeked his head back in through the door with the same cheeky look and said: ‘Sex instead?’. An excellent compromise.

Even though oral sex remained firmly off the table, we ended up getting down and dirty together which was great.

Of course, if you’re with a one-night-stand or casual hook-up and don’t feel able to talk about this stuff just yet – I get it.

I once stayed over at a man’s house who smelled very strongly of BO after we had sex. 

We’d only had three dates, so I didn’t feel like I could say ‘Hey, how about a shower?’ without it being very awkward. And I lived quite far away so I couldn’t go home either.

So, when we went to bed, I purposefully slept with my face away from him.

It certainly wasn’t ideal but our fling fizzled out very soon after that – for other reasons – and I thankfully didn’t have to address what happened.

My top tip if you ever find yourself in that situation is to suggest having a shower together. Soaping each other up could even serve as an opportunity for foreplay or round two.