Image of the week: Presidential pitch
Never mind the shamrocks, here’s the Tesla. This was the week in which a fleet of Elon Musk’s electric vehicles (EVs) were lined up outside the once-presidential US president’s residence, forming the largest attack on the dignity of the White House since the British burned down the original one in 1814.
Musk’s mate Donald Trump went into full car salesman mode as the showroom opened for business, declaring the vehicles “beautiful” and “amazing” as he slid into the driving seat of one and announced his intention to buy the red Model S. With Musk hovering nearby, Trump also brandished a Tesla sales pitch that included a price list and advice that they can be purchased for as little as $299 a month.
Meanwhile, both the Tesla Takedown activist movement in the US and the London-based Everyone Hates Elon campaign are picking up speed. The latter group, fresh from coining the word Swasticar, continues to take inspiration from Musk’s Hitler-style salute in a new billboard poster that riffs on The Fast and the Furious film, changing it into The Fast and the Führer.
As for the vandalism that has occurred outside some Tesla showrooms, Trump said those responsible were “domestic terrorists” who would “go through hell” if caught.
Tesla’s stock market decline is now being dubbed the “Tesla Chainsaw Massacre”, referencing both the 1974 horror film The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and its chief executive’s enthusiasm for waving about a chainsaw gifted to him by Argentina’s 1970s-haired president Javier Milei.
The battering taken by the company on the markets is all the fault of “radical left lunatics”, according to Trump. “Radical left lunatics” are said to be delighted to have such power.
In numbers: Hiring policy
7
Seasons of the original US (non-celebrity) version of The Apprentice that Amazon will stream for US Prime Video subscribers so younger viewers can get to know its little-known frontman, Donald Trump.
20.7 million
Viewership of the first season of The Apprentice in 2004 – this was its most-watched season, according to the network that aired it, NBC. The first episode was titled Meet the Billionaire.
$2 million
Amazon donated $1 million to Trump’s inauguration fund and streamed the ceremony in an in-kind donation also worth $1 million. Meanwhile, Prime Video has bought the rights to a documentary about Melania Trump, accurately describing her billionaire-meeting story as “truly unique”.
Getting to know: Jochen Breckner
Jochen Breckner, a Porsche lifer and its new finance and IT chief, doesn’t sound like he’s getting his full eight hours at the moment. That’s because US tariffs are “something that give us, to some extent, sleepless nights”, he admitted this week as the German carmaker announced plans to axe 4,000 jobs. Collectively, the lost sleep here must be considerable.
[ Porsche warns of profits threat ahead of US tariffsOpens in new window ]
The company, majority-owned by Volkswagen, will support discussions to find “good solutions” to the EU-US trade war, Breckner added, but with Porsche especially exposed to Trump’s tariffs – its main factories are in Stuttgart and Leipzig – few were surprised when chief executive Oliver Blume warned of a “volatile political and economic environment” and indicated that its guidance on profits could be further pressured amid both the surge in trade tensions and a difficult Chinese market.
The bad news for those who might be in the market for a Porsche is that prices are set to go up. The good news is that cheaper cars are available.
The list: EU tariff countermeasures
The European Commission says it will reinstate various tariffs that were paused at the end of its previous trade dispute with the US, but it has also published a new list of US goods that could be subject to tariffs by mid-April unless cooler heads – wherever they may be hiding – prevail.
[ EU imposes counter tariffs on €26bn worth of US goods as trade war ramps upOpens in new window ]
Running to 99 pages, it focuses on goods produced in Republican heartlands. Here are just five:
1. Electric blankets: Yes, the humble saviour of cold Irish nights, the electric blanket, could soon be caught up in a trade war.
2. Bathrobes: In another blow for people not afraid of comfort, various types of bathrobe feature on the EU’s proposed tariff countermeasures list.
3. Hairdryers: What could be more appropriate than an EU import duty on American devices that blow hot air?
4. Communion wafers: Or to give the full listing under the classification code, “communion wafers, empty cachets for pharmaceutical use, sealing wafers, rice paper and similar products”. Amen.
5. Chicken wings: Yet more evidence that these tit-for-tat tariffs are about to get messy.
